So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
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He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
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Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
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