I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize