Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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