what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
