Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Randomize
