Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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