So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
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