that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
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