Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
only if we run a train.
done.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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