my soul wont recognize me after tonight
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
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