fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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