saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
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