he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
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