I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize