he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Randomize
