I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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