let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
