She is in my trunk
she pinky promised me she was 18
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
