I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize