i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
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He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
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It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
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