i think i have herpe
just one?
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
The adults are the big ones right?
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize