Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
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