Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Randomize
