Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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