Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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