Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
