it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
