Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
That was an excessively violent trivia night
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Randomize