Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
