i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Actions speak louder than pants.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
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