But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
