i may or may not be watching the land before time
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
