sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Randomize
