Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Randomize
