Princesses don't give blow jobs
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
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