so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
