So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Randomize
