I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
