Just fell off a train. Bad.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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