once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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