if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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