Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Randomize