What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize
