It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize
