I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Randomize