Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
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