there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
