He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
