If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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