Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
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