The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize