If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
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