i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
