i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
My liver is preforming stress tests.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
