shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Randomize
