I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
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