Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Randomize