So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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