her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
