Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Randomize
